I'm tired of always being so anxious. And so nervous, about everything, for no reason. I'm starting to think I need to be on some anxiety medicine 24/7 because I just have this feeling I'm giving myself ulcers.
I worry like crazy about every little thing. Sometimes I become semi-paranoid. It's a problem. A big one. Often when I start to freak myself out I try and calm down by telling myself its not that big of a deal. But 9 times out of 10 it doesn't help and I remain panicked until the situation that is worrying me is over. And whenever it's over I realize it wasn't that big of a deal.
So these anxiety issues started in highschool but I was able to keep check on them pretty well. I just feel like in this past year it's gotten kind of bad. I stress myself out way to much over every little detail in my life. The fact that I'm an upperclassmen in college and
already filling out applications for student teaching is really scary. The fact that I have no money saved up and need everything is scary. Every new class assignment I get, every new instruction I get for the teaching program is enough to freak me the hell out.
The only way I've been able to control these anxiety problems is to become super organized. Which I am. Almost to a fault. But even knowing exactly what I have to get done every day for the next week isn't enough. Because if one thing changes or doesn't happen I feel out of control.
Today I have a list of homework and projects to get done. It's already 3pm and I haven't started anything. Not because I'm being lazy...but because I know when I start I'm going to realize how much there is to do, and that will panic me.
I feel like there is always so much to get done, never enough time. But there is never really that much to get done and there always is enough time. I just worry myself way to much. I wish I knew a way to control it a little better. Because it's becoming an annoying hindrance to my life. I hate that it has an impact on my life and impacts those around me too. I know I annoy Kyle alot by how minute by minute I have to have things planned out and how much any change scares me or worries me. Any time I have to do something new I'll worry about it for days ahead.
It's really ridiculous. Obviously. It's something I'm going to work towards fixing this year because as someone who loves to have fun, laugh, and relax I just can't stand the constant knot in my stomach over pointless worrisome details.
So I really must get to that to-do list.......hopefully?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
you kno winks whenever this happens to me, and it does pretty often, what I like to do is to write every single tiny thing that i have to do, and break up the big things and plan them out and every time i actually do something i cross it out, i put go to the bathroom, have a snack, take a break and other things like that on it as well so that i can accomplish little things as well, also wut i like to do is just breathe in for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold my breath for 4 seconds and start over again until i feel a little better hope that helps a little bit
Post a Comment