A Little bit of this, A Little bit of that

With all of these homework assignments, teaching responsibilities, and general school stress, there's alot I haven't written about as of late.

For example, I don't think I've written a word about how my Freeport home sold. And how in 2 weeks I'll officially be just another suburban girl down here at the U of I (God help me). Yep, it's pretty weird to think I'll never again see the house I've lived the past 21 years in. I was hoping to be able to make it home in the next weekends, but that hope keeps looking less and less likely. Especially because I have midterms up my ass the next few weeks. So I'm really (actually extremely) sad about never seeing my house again. I keep trying not to think about it so I won't have to feel so sad....but I know at some point it's going to hit me; the place with all those memories.....I'll never be there again.

It sucks. Especially because I become so attached to things and my home is no exception. I'm going to miss it so much. My yard, my pool, the family room I've spent so many lazy days in, our home at Christmas, the bright kitchen, my room, just everything. Plus my two dogs are buried there, Taffy and Cassie, and the realization I'll never get to say goodbye to them hit me pretty hard the other night. Sad. This is why I hate change so much. I don't want to say goodbye to my home, but I have no choice.

I also haven't written about how homesick I am. Not to ironic, seeing as how I soon won't have a real home. But lately, especially today and this weekend I've been feeling really really homesick. I miss my parents....I haven't seen them since they moved me in here and probably won't see them till thanksgiving. And that sucks. Most people like to go to college to get away from their parents. I just end up missing mine. And I miss Kyle. I haven't seen him since my birthday and won't see him until the weekend of the 20th (our 5 year anniversary) marking the longest period we've ever gone without seeing eachother; about 7 weeks. And let's face it, I pretty much miss everyone else as well: Nate, Brady, Grandma, Kim, Kenna.....why do I feel like I never see these people? And why do I feel so cut off from everything? This is the problem with being a complete homebody.....you end up like me.

This morning (despite what this blog's date says I'm writing this Monday afternoon) I went to my second day of teaching at Thomas Jefferson Middle School. It was alot of fun this week and I actually got to walk around the classroom and help the kids to things! I felt like a real teacher and it was excitttttttinnnnnggg!!! PLUS there was a pretty cool fight down the hall, this kid actually had to get arrested. Oh, and I found out the kids at TJMS aren't allowed to have water bottles at school because in the past there was one to many cases of the water being spiked. What!? 7th and 8th graders spike their water? Dear Lord, that's hardcore. Especially to a girl who didn't have a real drink until right before Freshman year of College.

I actually have alot more to talk about but I have to go leave for work. I'm so tired and I just want to sleep!! But now I'm off to work till 10ish. Boo :(

Happy October!

(My lovely home at Christmas.....sigh)

Late but (not-so) great!

Some of my Birthday pictures! Mind you, I'm drunk in 100% of these and excluded many many more which were just to shameful to show anyone. And don't forget to read my blog below this about my Middle School Adventure yesterday! Enjoy!

Me with my American birthday present pictures! Because I'm such a hard core America lover. Fuck yeah!

Marty, Me, Alex, and Kelli. And Kelli's chest.

Me happy as all hell during the 21st dance party. Yea to being 21!!!

So I love this picture for numerous reasons. 1. At this point all of us, allll of us were extremely wasted. 2. I have no idea who either of these guys were and for how long they were with us. Apparently they're Alex's freinds. And finally 3. the look on dude in the red shirt's facial expression. Priceless.

Watch out! I'm 21!!!!!!

You can just call me Ms. Cummins from now on...

Because that's what the kids call me and it is the most crazy insane thing ever. I've been called Ms. Cummins before, but it's usually been by teachers in highschool when I was being scolded or picked on to answer a question. However know hearing "Ms. Cummins" coming from a child looking to me as an authority figure is quite exciting....and weird.

So my experience at Thomas Jefferson Middle School went well. I'm really thinking I will enjoy my time there as an intern. And since your all dying to know how things went (I'm sure) here's how things went down on Monday:

Woke up at 5:45 am. I believe waking up before the sun does is truly the most painful thing a college student can do. Then I slowly got ready because my eyes were still half closed with sleep but was pretty much awake by the time my ride rolled in at 6:30. So the 1 hr. drive to Decatur wasn't to bad, just too early and too long.

We got there a bit before 7:30 and I was pleasantly surprised that the school wasn't a piece of shit. It was not as nice as my middle school but was not falling apart or ugly by any means. The school is virtually 50/50 black/white but 72% of their kids are economically disadvantaged! That is pretty sad and part of the reason why the school is "failing" state standards. Fuck state standards. Fuck no child left behind. (But I won't get into that now....ok, I will a little. If that Act isn't changed shortly it will be complete bullshit. Not saying No Child Left Behind doesn't have some good parts to it, but there are so many shit parts. I'm sorry, but when 90% of teachers completely hate an Act such as this....that should be saying something! It needs some work! And I want it done before I start teaching!) Okay, done with that.

Anyway, when we got to the school we listened to a presentation and were given a tour of the school by our on-site supervisor Mrs. Butt (hehe...and can you imagine, she taught middle schoolers for 30+ years!). She stressed to us the importance of what we're doing, the importance of meeting their standards (they have this crazy daily objectives requirements), and even made me tear up a bit when she told us how much our presence means to these kids who have nothing and how hard it is when we leave them at the end of the semester, like everyone else in their life has done before us. Sad. But thats why I want to be a teacher full time. I won't have to leave the kids I make a connection with. And I can hopefully fill the position of roll-model or figure they need in life.

After an hour I was finally able to meet Mrs. Woodward. I was placed in her class with two other U of I students; Molly and Caleb (both very nice). And Mrs. Woodward? Well, she is a character. She has this Louuuud BOOOOOMING voice that carries I'm pretty sure down the hallway. I know when I public speak I can have a commanding voice, but nothing like hers. Dear Lord she has a powerful voice. But she is very nice, laid back, and seems like she will be fun. I got to sit in on three of her classes (8th grade, getting ready for the Constitution test baby!) which were all reasonably well behaved. Sort of scary that I have to come up with a lesson and teach by myself to one of these groups though in the next month. Scary indeed. Because we were only there for such a short time on Monday though Molly, Caleb, and I weren't able to find out exactly what Mrs. Woodward expects of us each week. So not till next Monday I suppose.

And that was my morning in a nutshell. I learned two kids names; Trey (blonde haired, surfer looking, know it all - in a good way), Dylan (red head, quiet), and that alone is pretty impressive for me. I can only handle so many names at a time. The ride home went quick, especially because me and my two carpooling buddies swapped stories the whole time.

So all in all it was a good day. I'm excited to go back and excited to get to know the kids. I just wish I could have my own class already! Like my own class. Student teaching reminds me of babysitting in a way and the uncomfortableness that can come along with it. For example, you want to punish the kids sometimes, discipline them, or use your own methods you think will be effective but you fully can't because you don't want to piss off parents or over step your boundaries. Same thing for student teaching. How much can you yell at the kids, how much can it feel like your students when their just not? But when they're your own kids, and your own classroom....well, then I know I'll be much more comfortable and much more effective.

The rest of my Monday sucked pretty hardcore. I was sooooo ridiculously tired and had no time to sit and rest until I finished work at 9 pm last night. Ouch. Mondays (and Wednesdays) are looooooong days for this girl. But I can't complain, Thomas Jefferson treated me very well yesterday. Yea to that!

So I'm off to work on this paper that I keep putting off and putting off. Honestly, I am the worst procrastinator in the world. Anyone having flashbacks to last spring where I put off the 30 page paper till like a few nights before it was due? Yeah, I don't know if I'll ever be able to shake this procrastination thing. Hey, I work better under pressure anyway. But I guess I wouldn't really know otherwise.

Alrighty! I'm off! Happy Tuesday Evening all!

You know what sucks?

...Having it already be 9 pm on a Sunday night and knowing I have to get up at 5:45 am tomorrow morning. It sucks hardcore.

So I begin my student teaching adventures tomorrow and I'm a bundle of all different emotions right now. Scared, nervous, excited, but mostly anxious because I just don't know what to expect. What I do know is I'm being picked up at 6:30am so me and my fellow carpoolers can make it to Decatur, IL by 7:30. (Of course I would be placed to student teach/observe in the farthest possible city). Then I know that all of the U or I students at Decatur will be given a tour of the school before meeting with our designated classroom teacher.

So this is where the anxious part comes in. I know I'm placed at Thomas Jefferson Middle School. I know I'll be working with 8th graders (ugh...no highschool till next semester), but I don't know anything about this Mrs. Jacqueline Woodward. Will she be nice? young? old? strict? helpful? God I hope so. I'm going to need plenty of help. All the people preparing us for this observation/student teaching adventure keep assuring us we won't be expected to do anything but observe our first day. But after that, it's completely up to your designated teacher. They could just want you to observe everyday and take roll call only, they could have you help out around the classroom, or they could insist you teach the lesson they prepared....by yourself. Imagine, me teaching a history lesson to middle schoolers next week. Terrifying! Do I really know enough history to be teaching it? Really?

Yikes. It's a bit intimidating. Also because I know by the end of this semester I have to come up with and deliver a lesson of my very own. Jeesh. How is this happening already. Hopefully I'll have another U of I student in the classroom with me so there's some moral support close by. But per usual, I don't know yet if there will be.

I'm having trouble concentrating on homework today because all I can think about is tomorrow! How weird! I have this super nice professional outfit all laid out and know I'll look nice....but then....I know I'll feel so ridiculous. Let's be honest, I'm no professional. I just got trashed this weekend then drunk stumbled around my apartment trying to make mac and cheese at 3:30am Friday night. Now I'm supposed to blend in with real teachers who are real adults? Ha, this should be interesting.

I would also feel a bit better about life if i knew this upcoming week was going to be laid back. But no, I have a big paper due Friday and mounds of reading to do. Not to mention the fact that the next two weeks after this I have 3 more papers due, and two midterms. Joy.

Man oh man this could be insane. But for now I need to get going. I have to go to bed in a few hours to be ready for my big day tomorrow! Wish me luck!!

I Have a Huge Head.....

But seriously I do. It's actually pretty massive compared to alot of peoples. I also have a huge forehead.

But I'm not talking about the actual size of my head today, I'm talking about how huge my head has become due to my domination of my speech yesterday. It was about napping, yes napping and I killed it. I got a huge round of applause, several hearty laughs, and many compliments by my fellow students. Since then, I've had a hard time squeezing my head through doorways.

I've also had a big boost because I received a $250 check in the mail yesterday. Thank God for that summer security deposit. It really came at a good time.

And it came at a good time because I'm already having to renew my lease for this apartment NEXT WEEK. Yes, leasing apartments here in Champaign-Urbana is completely insane, stupid, and ridiculous. They're also raising apartment prices ALL over campus because three new extremely expensive complexes are being built for next year.

Bullshit. It's so stupid I have to renew this lease when I've only been living here for one month. Ah well, what can I do.

Another good thing that happened to me is my Friday morning class got cancelled. Yea to sleeping in!! Cancelled classes are the best thing ever. Well one of the best. U of I's two snow days last year were pretty badass as well.

But look at me! Rambling about nothing and have lots to do to get done today! I'll write this weekend most likely about my fears of starting observing/student teaching this Monday. Dun, dun, dunnnnnn

Things To Be Happy About...

1. Yesterday was the 220th anniversary of the Signing of the U.S. Constitution. Take that you bastard Brits!

2. Today is Tuesday, meaning I get to take a nap

3. Kyle might visit me this weekend!

4. I've been dominating at "Min" lately

5. I've only sneezed 5 times so far today, compared to my usual 500.

6. I've only seen 1 cockroach in our apartment in the past 4 days. Dare I assume our preventive measures are working?

7. I've recently come into possession of a cool ass $2 bill and a buffalo nickel.

8. As a matter of fact, I'm going to take that lovely Tuesday nap right now. I swear I'll write a real blog soon!

Important Update

I took a bubble bath today for the first time in years.

It was glorious.

And The Birthday Girl Is.......

KENNA!!

Happy Birthday!!!!

Have a Fantastic Day!!