The Green Stuff

I've decided I hate money.

I hate everything about it. It brings me more stress than any 20 year old should face. I didn't think living in an apartment would be that different than living in the dorms. Other than the rent, utilities, groceries... Oh wait, I must have been really naive to think it wouldn't be that different.

Thankfully my rent for the summer apartment is already paid so I only have to worry about utilities and food. But then there is also Brady's wedding. So I have to pay for a dress, shoes, probably accessories, a wedding present. And then at the end of the summer I have to buy an entire wardrobe of professional clothing so I can sit in every day in various High school classrooms next fall. And of course, first month rent for my fall apartment of $270 is due August 1st. Not to count the various tid bits I'll need to purchase throughout the next few months.

And while I am working more days than I ever have before (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday), I still am concerned it just won't be enough. And the fact that "Min" is closed for two weeks this summer just before Brady's wedding doesn't help. I will love having that much time for myself, but its definatly going to hurt the already empty wallet. The thought of not having enough money for things is just terrifying to me. Unlike my brothers, I do have a problem with asking my parents for money. (I'm not saying you do anymore brothers, I'm talking about in college). I've always felt that my parents have paid for everything since I was a child, they have enough worries, and I want to avoid any extra burdence at all costs.

This is about the time in my life where I need to win the big, big lottery. Or join the mob to make a little extra dough. Especially since it's common knowledge around Champaign-Urbana that Joe and Pete are Italian mob members and "Min" Ristorante is their headquaters. Seriously. People really think that.

Regardless, I need money. But even if I can't get more money, I wish I could just stop worrying about it. I already worry to much. Honestly, I'm sure I'll have enough to get by this summer. I just tend to obsessively worry about the fear of coming up short. Goodness, I need to do some cocaine or something to relax. (kidding, mom. Beer will work).

On a brighter note than me being a poor, cracked out college student; Marty's moved in the apartment!! Meaning my days of loneliness are finally over. And for the first time I didn't go to bed scared last night. Its comforting to know if a physco murderer breaks in he might head to someone elses room first and find them before he finds me. Oh, that's not very nice. Actually, it's just comforting to have someone else in the apartment at night. I also got to finally meet her boyfriend, Jonah (about time) which was exciting. He's just what I expected and am very happy to finally know the infamous couple.

Just as exciting for me, Luz is moving in this Friday!! I'm quite excited for all of this! And pretty soon Shubbu will be here which means the circle will be complete. Hurray!

As you can probably tell from this blog or my previous blogs, I'm sure it's easy to see my biggest fault is that I worry to much. (Sorry I keep jumping around here). I wish it was something I could change about myself. It's created numerous problems for me throughout life. I'm always scared of changes, scared of new things, scared of not being good enough, because I'm so worried about the consequences. Ah well...hopefully it will change as I get older. And hopefully along the way I'll hit the jackpot or come across a couple of a million dollars.